Wouldn’t it be great if people would do the right thing all the time without having to be told? It is important for me to remember that as a parent to my children, I am the leadership they need. Leadership does not mean I get to be the big boss guy, telling everyone else what to do; it means I have the responsibility to make sure the things that need to get done, do.

We cannot ignore that we live in a world constantly pounded by the second law of thermodynamics, the result of sin in the world. It is always amazing to me that within 24 hours of cleaning the house, it can look like a tornado just swept through. The parent-thing I need fixed in me is to not get so angry when I am telling the children for the fifteen hundredth time to pick up their room, do their tables chores, do their school work, stop fighting with their siblings, eat with their fork, etc., etc. Part of the parental job is to be the one to redirect my children, constantly. "I have no problem reminding you of these things." They need me to be their leader.

But how can I do this without always feeling like a threatening-repeating parent? No one wants to feel like they are constantly harping on their children.

My children are not machines that I can program, punching in a code and having them do exactly what I expect when I expect it. Five minutes after a family discussion on love and unity, chances are someone will be bickering, complaining or sulking. Should I then give up, throw in the towel – "forget this parenting stuff!"? It is then that I realize God has me right where He wants me. Welcome to God’s discipleship machine for parents. I must put off my own childish ways and be the leader. God is working on my attitude and character – that is the joy of parenting.

If I am agitated by the selfishness in my children, then guess what? There is selfishness in me that is in need of a deathblow. I need the cross.

True and beautiful leadership is characterized by a love and appreciation of those we lead. God has been so patient, kind, gentle, comforting, forgiving and loving towards me. Shouldn’t I be the same way with my children? That’s the type of leadership my children need – they need to know that I am not going to give up on them, that I am willing to be patient and persistent, even if it means doing and saying some of the same things over and over again. It is essential that I not abdicate my position of leadership as a parent to my children and it is equally necessary that I have the right attitude concerning that responsibility.

As a parent, I cannot let the fear of doing and saying the wrong things – the fear of messing things up for my children – paralyze me. I cannot become so frustrated or discouraged that I concede defeat. I must remind myself that God has called me to this task and He has equipped me as well. I can therefore lead my children with an assurance and confidence grounded in His ability.

Do I sometimes fail and feel discouraged as a parent? Sure, and I know I will constantly face those times. But a loving parent will not give up. Instead, I will lead on and keep on giving – that’s what being a dad or a mom is all about.